hidden realities faced by family carers

A home care leader has launched a new book raising awareness of the emotional and practical realities faced by family carers. Each chapter offers a practical guide by showcasing a different aspect of lived experiences of care, reassuring people that they aren’t alone.

I’m Your Daughter Not Your Carer, written by Clare Jefferies who owns four Home Instead offices, was inspired by her personal experiences as one of the 5.8m family carers across the UK. Just as influential were the countless stories she has heard from people in the community who are trying to meet the overwhelming demands of caring for a loved one. She knew it was time to put pen to paper and write a book that captures what many families are going through.

Clare Jefferies says: “Having cared for both of my parents, who were both ill in their later years, I know the physical and emotional toll it takes on you. We do it out of love, but that doesn’t make it any easier, especially when you also have young children to look after like I did.

“Not enough people talk about ‘carenting’, which means supporting your parents when they need your help, and it’s time we changed that. When families come to me, many of them are at crisis point. Topics like care options and declining health aren’t discussed enough amongst family members, so when faced with the challenge, many don’t know what to do. 

“I want this book to be the first step for these people to seek the help they deserve. It’s a reminder that if any of us find ourselves in that position, we don’t have to navigate our way through it alone.”

The book has already earned praise from TV stars including Lorraine Kelly and Jeremy Vine, with Lorraine describing it as: “A book full of wisdom and insight gained from years of caring for others. Written from the heart, it will resonate with so many people.”

Kicking off the book launch with an event during Carers Week, Clare brought together people from the community who share her passion for supporting family carers. It was a powerful reflection of the trust she has built over the past 15 years as a local home care company owner.

A family carer herself, Ruth Brown, Home Instead UK’s managing director commented on the book, saying: “As someone who understands first-hand the delicate balance of being both a daughter and a carer, I recognise how vital this book is. It shines a light on the very real, often unseen complexities families face when care and love intertwine. It’s a heartfelt, much-needed resource that offers comfort, insight and honesty through shared experience.”